Monday, October 7, 2013

N: Ten Things

Have you ever met someone who completely changes your life in such a wonderfully positive way that it makes your life look completely different? N has been that person for me. When I thought about getting a horse I hadn't really thought about what that would look like - at first it was J and T with me at the barn every night, but I think it's really hard for non-horse people to understand the passion and compulsion of working your horse. It's not an occassional thing, if you really want it to work and your horse to be fit. I guess I expected that once Ashke was able to ride out, it was pretty much going to be me riding solo. I thought that would be okay, right up until Ashke dumped me on my back in the dirt on our first solo ride around the Lake, then I figured out that having someone with you was so much safer. (I never did figure that out as a kid.) Finding someone I click with, that I genuinely like and want to spend time with, someone I respect and admire, that's a pretty tall order for anyone to meet.

N was a Godsend. Or sent by God, whichever way you would like to look at it. I think our relationship has changed as much in her life as it has in ours. It started with meeting the tech in Lenscrafters while getting T's glasses fixed, who told us his roomate kept her horse out at the barn and that it had a really long mane, which was a big deal, and that his roomate's name was N. That guy was very obviously gay, and since I was already feeling some angst about our reception at Christensen's barn, it was nice to know there was someone there that wasn't going to care that I was a lesbian. It was a couple of days later when I walked in the barn and Cali was standing in the crossties, with N wrapping her legs. Cali's mane caught my eye and I stopped. I said, you must be N. She looked up and gave me a grin. That started our friendship.

When I started looking for a new place to board, I made a special trip out to tell N. I didn't want to stop riding with her, but I also wasn't going to stay someplace that T wasn't welcome. N, too, was really bummed about it. It was a weekend later that N and I were in Christensen's arena with eight other people and both of us realized how incredibly difficult the winter was going to be to get solid training rides in. There wasn't going to be enough room, even in the evening. I started looking. When I found TMR I thought there might be enough upside to the barn to justify to N the extra distance she was going to have to travel. I talked her into coming out and seeing it. She loved it. Then she brought out J and R. Then they found their house and the rest is history. In the year since our move to TMR, I feel like N has become like family. So, I thought I should do a post about the top ten things I love most about her.

1. N always says what's on her mind, straightforward and blunt. I love that. I have been caught off guard a couple of times, but not in a bad way. Most of the time people cloak themselves in what they think you want to hear, instead of speaking their truth. N speaks her truth.

2. N and I have been talking and sharing stories for over a year now and neither of us has run out of anything to say.

3. N and I have a lot of similiar interests outside of horses, which contributes to #2. We like Friends, we have the same sense of humor, there's just a lot of things that click. Makes being friends easy.

4. N and J and R are comfortable with and enjoy spending time with my family. They love T and his energy and T treats R like a little brother. J and J are very similiar in some of their personalities and things they like. We enjoy spending time with each other in a group and really enjoyed the camping trip we took together. We are now starting to celebrate important events together; birthdays, holidays, etc.

5. N's infectious grin, her wonderful laugh and her ability to laugh at herself. Those are all qualities I like and admire in a person, and ones that I feel I share.

6. She can cuss as good as I can. And she tells great stories.

7. I can ask her questions and talk to her about Ashke and she answers honestly and completely, not treating me like a noob.

8. N can talk me through moments of difficulty I'm having with Ashke. We can be each other's support and sometimes we talk each other off the cliff.

9. She's a great coach and very positive with my attempts to learn a completely new discipline. She is brave and willing to try things she's never done with her horse before, in part, because she trusts me not to put us in harm's way.

10. We have each other's back.

And as a bonus, I love riding with her.


  1. My friend Diana from the FL barn was my own N. It's wonderful when you find a friend like that, with whom you have so much in common and with whom you can share your equine adventures. Diana's presence and friendship are the only thing I miss of FL. I keep trying to convince her to move to MD. ;) May you and N share many, many, many more rides together!

  2. Karen! I'm all misty I'm not as good with the writing I'll just say...Ditto friend :-)


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