Yawp

I've always loved that word from the movie "The Dead Poets Society" and although I might not actually Yawp in response to Ashke's development, inside I am yawping a lot.

This is the final entry in the alphabet blogging challenge I set myself this month. I almost managed to do all 26 letters, but skipped the X (because, seriously, X is a hard topic) and Z (because I ran out of time). Hence, ending the month with Yawp.

Here is video from last night. We have a change through the trot on basically a figure 8 in our test, so I asked J to video us practicing. Ashke is getting better over all in not getting "hot" at the thought of cantering, although you can see at the end he was getting a bit predictive in his response, hence the stop and back. That moment is kind of funny to me, since I was gleeful about the transition from the left lead to the right, thinking it was the easiest lead change ever, and then the circle kind of fell apart. In watching the video, you can see he did not change (no wonder it was smooth, since his left lead is his default lead). The challenge for me is the small shift of weight from the outside leg to new outside leg. Once I have conquered that, I think he will be less confused.

Welcome

New Swedish Warmblood/Arab mix (2 years old and 15.3) got introduced to Ashke on Saturday.

The only horse time of my weekend because of Club stuff. And exhaustion.

And one of HCWE's Club members does the EOH course very well on Sunday.

Van Halen

Ashke is kind of a free spirit who has a streak of mischief running through his veins. He plays with the horses next to him - Mez and Flame - bitey gelding face games. He helps the barn cleaners with cleaning his chores: holding the fork, searching pockets, trailing around after them. He interacts with horses in turn out, playing face games over the fence with the horses in turnout.

He has now decided to try out as a drummer for Van Halen.

I guess, according to the BO, he drags his Rubbermaid tank out from beneath the fence, tips it over and bangs on it with his front foot. It rings out through the barn. A new boarder asked the BO what in the world that noise was and the BO answered that Ashke was playing the drums. This is a daily thing because one needs to practice to get better.

Unchained

All the things.

I have been completely unchained, unwound, undone, since my last post.

The slightest hint of kindness and I am in tears. 

This too will pass, but until then, enjoy some pictures of my life.

 45 seconds after Tim Tebow threw an 80 yard pass to Demarius Thomas in OT, to win the AFC Wild Card game against the Steelers.

"The crowd has lost it's mind"

Stock Show 

Big and Green

 

The T.

 

The Oregon coast

Halo 

Lily and Skittle.

First day home.

There was poop everywhere.

 

Lily and her soulmate

Skittle is very worried about the jacket

I bought Ashke a squeeky chicken.

Ashke didn't like it so I gave it to Lily.

Early Saturday morning

 The Dover Blankets are awesome

 My Heart

Us

Another Early Morning

Scritches

Four Wisdom Teeth Gone

 Typical Saturday night

 Skittle

 Lily

Cave of the Winds - Terrordactyl

 The dog with all of the balls wins!

 T - posted on Snapchat to his friends on Father's Day

I love his sense of humor

 So seriously.

 Heart

 Heart

 They are like Lays.

You can't have just one

 Driving

 Andrea Bocelli

 I don't know why no one comes to visit.

Really.

 It's contagious.

So sweet

 Sister

 They used to be small enough to lay across the back of the chair.

A wonderful day

Thank You

Thank you to all of the women who showed up on Saturday to March for women's rights. And LGBTQ rights. And for racial equality. And for the Climate. And all of the endangered animals. And for reproductive freedom. And healthcare. And religious freedom.

For standing up for the Human Race. Thank you for doing so, because I couldn't.

Thirty years ago, that was me. Me, marching for LGBTQ rights in the very first Gay Pride Parade in Denver. Me, marching and signing petitions and showing up in support of the E.R.A. Me, registering voters in the election when Reagan won every state but Massachusettes. Me, marching in Take Back the Night marches. When I was young I was fearless. I participated in everything. I marched and spoke and stood up for those who couldn't. I registered voters and attended rallies. I wrote poetry and got involved in local politics. I was willing to sacrifice for the good of the many. My  mantra was "this is a good day to die".

But things change and life goes on and we grow into ourselves, into our lives. I've gotten used to living without fear, of going out in public and holding my wife's hand, of us parenting our child together, of what most people consider a normal life. Over the 37 years since I came out, I have grown into that life, that normal, not having to think about whether someone else's perception of me was going to result in bad things happening to me or my family.

This time around I couldn't go, as much as I might have wanted to in the past. I am almost paralyzed with fear: fear for my wife; fear for our bright, eloquent son; fear for this wonderful life we have created; fear that I will find myself on a list and then in a camp and then no more.

I can't seem to find my courage. I have no more brave. I have no more fearless. I want to go to ground, to find a place to shelter us all.

So, thank you to all those who could go, for you carried my voice with you. I was there in spirit, even if I couldn't be there in person.

Forgive me for being so afraid. I have so much more to lose, now, then I did when I was younger. I can't take the same risks. Losing this life terrifies me to the core.

Sore

Ashke got the day off yesterday because I was too sore to do much of anything. My lower back was bothering me more than it has in a couple of years and I just didn't feel like moving. I still planked for 40 seconds, cleaned the house, cooked dinner and adored the doggos, but neither of us felt like leaving. One of the things we did do was finish the puzzle we started on Saturday night.

When J and I used to do puzzles a lot. And enjoyed them. Then for a long time, we didn't. It's hard to do them with cats and doggos and a little person running around under foot. However, we picked up a couple from Costco and a Denver Broncos one just before the holidays and did them on days when the weather was bad and we were being home bodies. It was fun. So Saturday when we were at the mall after our massage, we picked up a 1000 piece puzzle that was discounted 50% because the box was smashed, brought it home and got it started.

T helped with the last 20 pieces

I have now decided we should find one of each of the beers in this picture. I'm especially taken with the Bishop's Finger, the Hen's Tooth, the Bear Beer, Cobra, Tiger, Murphy's Irish Stout, Red Stripe  Aphrodite and Duurl. Not that I am going to drink any, but I want J to try them all. A friend recommended we use it as a scavenger hunt. So, game on. I will be hitting our large adult beverage stores this weekend in search for some of these beers. I'll let you know how it goes.

I went on Amazon last night and bought two more puzzles, each 1000 pieces. One is a picture of pencils in different colors lined up to fill the entire pictures and one like the beer one only with hard liquor. J is really excited about the pencil one and I am more excited about the liquor one. We also went a little crazy and ordered new shower curtains for both bathrooms. Amazon prime rocks.

And just so you know, if J and I ever get any land that can sustain an animal, we are getting two of these darlings, even if we have to import them. I would take wethers, since they are just intended as pets and not for breeding or eating.

I loves these sheeps.

Relax

Saturday is a busy day for us. We get up earlier than on a week day so T can catch a bus to Winter Park to ski. We take the dogs with us when we take T to the bus stop, so we can go to the dog park and let them run when no one else is around. (Malinios are the canine ninja's of the dog world and do not brook any nonsense. Better to keep them separate.) They love the dog park in Golden and there hasn't been anyone there that early, so we let them run until they are ready to leave. The Dover dog blankets have been incredible and very comfy. They keep them warm and now that Skittle doesn't think she's in trouble every time we put it on her, they seem to enjoy wearing them.

After the dog park, we got a bucket of warm mash for Ashke and a five gallon barrel of hot water. I was tired of the urine stiffened mane, the urine soaked and stained front leg, filthy tail and dirty belly of my horse. It was way to cold to try and clean him with well water, but I figured if I only washed the dirty areas and then toweled him dry before riding him, we would be okay. He danced a bit in the wash stall, but was very good for J, who held him while I wet, washed and rinsed the above named parts. Even used a little conditioner. I don't think I've been able to get a brush through mane or tail in months. And his dark yellow leg was actually white when I finished.

He seemed pretty happy with the hot water, actually.

He was, however, a fire breathing dragon once I had him saddled. If I thought I had resolved the issue with the corner, I was mistaken. He hates it and tried to bolt away from it a couple of times today. We trotted in circles through the deepest sand right in front of the standards, in both directions, until we were no longer interested in bolting. Then we got to work.

Ashke was amazing. We did some lateral work to loosen him up and then started working on transitions off my seat. I had to hold him with my seat to keep him slow (he was very forward today) and if I released my seat, he moved up into another transition. I did trot-canter-trot-walk transitions, entirely by tilting my pelvis and giving a small release on the reins with the tips of my fingers. There was very little by way of adding leg to get the transitions. It was delightful.

We worked on the slalom with parallel poles, but only with three cones. Maybe next time we will try five. I had worked on those on Thursday and came away with the idea that if I got out of Ashke's way, he would be able to turn the poles on his own, with just some direction from me. At least in front. I have to support his hind end with my outside leg to keep him bent around the inside, and add a bit of heel and leg on the inside to keep his impulsion up, but I barely need to cue the canter, just the softest touch with my leg to get him to transition up. We rode the three cones in both directions one time and then we were done for the day. He learns so much better if we do it once or twice and then let it rest for a day.

Three things of note: the ruffled hair on the left back panel of the saddle, where I had been adding a shim is showing only the slightest hint of ruffled hair, without using the shim, which means the muscling in his back is much more even; the rubbed off hair over his loins that was caused by the new BOT dressage pad is no longer being rubbed. The new sheepskin saddle pad, which has a footprint just slightly larger than my saddle, is working very well. Best two hundred dollars, ever! And finally, Ashke is still in the quick wrap on his left hind leg. The swelling under the scar tissue is almost completely resolved and he doesn't seem to be scratching it at all. I am keeping him wrapped until Expo, however.

J and I headed home after my most excellent ride. I took a shower and planked for 40 seconds (doubled my time whoot!!!) and then we went to get a couple's massage.

Massages are such strange things. I go in wanting someone to rub their warm hands all over my body and make me feel good and instead I get the over achiever who finds every sore trigger point and detonates them until my muscles give up. I do have to say that the heated massage beds, the waterfall of water that provided soft music and the heated, steaming towels they used to loosen my back were wonderful. I did, however, spend a lot of time breathing through the pain. The massage therapist had strong sure hands and did a great job of pummeling all of my tight muscles into abject surrender, including my hips flexors and hamstrings.

I am feeling it tonight, though. J was less pleased with hers, since she really wanted her neck and shoulders worked on and he didn't really do much there. We got the massages through Groupon and will be looking for more options. Two hour long massages for $20 and a $20 tip was well worth the experience.

Ashke will get tomorrow off and I will ride again on Monday night. Hopefully, my lesson will be on Weds. Or I will do a lesson on Monday and ride again on Weds. It's been too muddy to get out onto the trail. And the wind has been cold. Plus, I am really working on being more than ready for the show in March.