Saturday, September 20, 2014


. . . in the Force, that is.

Have you ever experienced that moment when you walk in the house and realize your partner/spouse/housemate is livid pissed at you and you have no idea what you did?

Maybe you left the toilet seat up and the toilet unflushed and the dogs splashed pee water all over the bathroom. Maybe you left two squares of toilet paper on the roll the last time you visited the water room and didn't pull a new roll out of the hall closet, leaving said partner in a very uncomfortable position. Maybe you accidentally forgot to record your latest horse-related purchase in the joint account and over drew your checking account by 27 cents, resulting in a plethora of returned check charges and bank fees. Maybe you forgot to turn all of your socks right side out after taking them off this week, resulting in an additional twenty minutes of sock turning before they could go in the washer and a very pissed off spouse. Maybe you forgot to do that one thing you promised you would do that you don't honestly remember, but your spouse knows and is refusing to remind you, choosing instead to play the "I'm going to be angry until you remember but I'm not going to remind you" game.

Living with someone is not for the faint of heart.

Neither is horse ownership.

Ashke was being weird again last night. We went from a happy, "go out with our friends and laugh and talk" couple to that weird couple that tip-toes around each other trying to decipher what is really wrong before we put our foot in it and then there's no sex for at least a week. I feel like there is a strange disconnect between us and I'm not sure why.

He lunged himself around me in the arena at the end of the lead rope (yes, I moved with him so the circle was not so small) at a canter for five minutes. Luckily, I had him in his halter rather than the bridle so he didn't jam himself in the mouth. He kind of acts like he expects me to still be angry with him over the arm thing, but I was able to lift my Alta Escuela (which according to Saiph weighs 35 lbs) onto his back with my hurt shoulder so we went ahead and rode.

Ashke did several things that worry me. First, he kept sticking his tongue out and itching it on his teeth. It was pretty funny to watch him twist his tongue around to itch the sides against his front teeth, but it is also worrisome in light of the VSV outbreak. I looked for issues, but didn't see anything and since the best description I have read about VSV is that is looks like you took a blow torch to your horse's face, it figure you will know it when you see it. The second thing he was doing was lolling his tongue out of his mouth. This is usually indicative of too much tongue pressure from the bit.

I'm wondering if I have him over bitted. I chose this bit originally to give myself enough control that I could get him stopped when he tried to take off. That works, but we are having some disagreement about contact and pressure and giving to the bit when we are working in the arena.

It could be that it's all about the arena. It could be that my hands need to be better. Or it could be that we can go to a softer bit and still maintain control.

Last night was a night of not getting along, even though we worked on cantering and poles. Ashke felt tense and upset, like he could still smell the pain in my shoulder and was reacting to that. Or maybe the sudden 90 degree weather was making him cranky. IDK. I do know that I got some really nice weaves through the poles but then had to be more firm when he decided to throw his head up and evade.

Today, however, I am going to work on making up with him. This morning will be all peppermints and carrots. I am going to see if I can teach him to nod and shake his head no. And work on the bow. Reconnect. Let him know he is the one for me.

So much work, marriage.


  1. My thought would be that you are probably carrying yourself completely different because of the pain in your shoulder (or perhaps you feel less pain because you are carrying yourself differently) and Ashke is confused by your new body language?

  2. Some horses most definitely hold a grudge, Carlos would get mad at me for going away to school and refuse to acknowledge that I was visiting him. In a way it made me realize how much he cared.

  3. Love how you describe the bumps in relationships here. They're definitely quite a bit of work!