I grieve for our Nation, for our Children, for each person who lives in the United States.
I am grieving for the opening this election has given groups of people whose existence is rooted in hate to make of their hatred, National policy.
I am grieving that the structure of our primary religious culture has encouraged the hatred being directed at "others" in our society, that they spew that hatred while claiming to be Christian.
I am grieving that the anger and frustration of our populace fueled the belief that electing a man who spews hatred and encourages white nationalism will fix the underlying issues of our working poor.
I am grieving the loss of safety and security I felt last week on a personal, national and global level.
I am grieving the loss of safety and security for people of color, people of differing religious beliefs, the poor, the homeless, the gender-nonconforming, our LGBTQ community, women, children, refugees, immigrants and the global community.
I am grieving the lesson my bright, beautiful, inclusive young man is learning from this election and the risk it puts him at going forward.
I grieve for my friends who are going to lose their health insurance and those who mistakenly believe Obamacare is the issue, not the for-profit health management organizations and big pharma.
I grieve for the wilderness we will lose to clear cutting and oil production, for the increasing carbon emissions and increased number of pipelines, for Standing Rock and all our Indian nations who are the only ones standing up in protection of our nation's water supply.
I grieve for the loss of compassion, empathy and selflessness.
I grieve for all sexual assault survivors who now have to face a sexual predator as our President.
I grieve for all of my friends and family who voted Republican out of some misplaced sense of loyalty to a party that sold its soul a long time ago and who, in doing so, have condemned myself and my family to increased risk of violence.
I grieve for all of my friends and family who voted for the President elect or Gary Johnson out of outrage at the establishment's treatment of Bernie and who, in doing so, have condemned myself and my family to increased risk of violence.
I have never felt so scared in my life. "Terrified" does not really do this overwhelming feeling of anguish and fear justice, but it is the best word at my disposal.
Terrified for what this election means for my retired parents.
Terrified for what this election means for my Latino and Latina friends and family.
Terrified for what this election means for my Black friends and family and all those who believe Black Lives must Matter as much as white lives.
Terrified for my friends and family who are Muslim, Wiccan, Pagan, Jewish and atheist.
Terrified that it will be a small step from the vocalized hatred of the alt-right in this election to concentration camps, lynchings, brutality and bullying directed at "diversity".
Terrified that the nuclear arms race might have been reignited by this election and the potential for using nuclear weapons exponentially increased.
Grief stricken and terrified.
Maybe by tomorrow I will have found the resolute commitment I need to survive the next four years and to face the fact that the civil rights we have worked for over the past fifty-five years could be wiped away, for everyone. Maybe by tomorrow, I will have found the courage I need to work for change in our government: term limits for Congress and the Senate; an amendment to the Constitution changing the election process for the Presidential election; state laws to prevent gerrymandering and voter suppression. Those things will make a difference going forward.
Maybe by tomorrow, I will have regained my emotional equilibrium and be able to see a way past my grief and fear.
That day is not today.