Tonight

Two years ago tonight, a co-worker stood up at our Company Christmas party and announced to everyone that he had given me a horse. I sat at a table, hands clenched in front of me and refused to think, to hope, to dream.

One year ago tonight, a co-worker and his wife greeted me when they arrived at the Company Christmas party, but then hurried off. In the four hours of drinking and eating and socializing neither of them (Steve or his Wife) asked about Ashke. The silence surrounding that topic rang loud with guilt and remorse. I was alright with avoiding them, because I was still so very angry at the condition I had received Ashke in. I was angry that anyone could treat an animal that way.

Tonight, I was no longer angry.

Tonight, I didn't have any feelings at all toward either of them.  The bottom line is if Ashke had been valued and loved I would have never ended up with him. If they had been at all concerned with his well-being there would have been no reason for Steve to have given him away. If they had had any idea of what an incredible animal and partner Ashke was going to be, I would still be trying to save the money to buy a horse. But they had no clue and for that I am greatful.

I have not forgiven them for the criminality of their actions, but it no longer actively effects me.

It still bothers them, though. The biggest issue with announcing you've given away a horse at a company party is that it sticks with people. Four or five different people asked Steve about giving me the horse this year. Every time the subject came up, both Steve and Michelle left the group and went to talk to someone else. Mark followed them, still jawing about the horse. Pedro looked like he didn't understand why they refused to talk about it and asked J how the horse was.  J had to laugh at Steve and Michelle's antics and she told everyone who asked that he was magnificent.

So, two years from the night Ashke became mine, we took a trail ride. The horses had a marvelous time and N and I enjoyed the ride. We found a new way to ride home on the Mesa trail and ended up riding through the neighborhood back to the back of the barn. Ashke was amazing. He was in a frame about 65% of the time, even at a walk. Our trot was very nice. He is getting it a little more every time I ride.

 The only bad part about today was the four inch heels on the boots I wore to the party. My feet are killing me tonight.